GENDER QUEER Banned Book Review — For the Book and Against the Ban

Author Testimonial about Gender Queer

I first picked up the graphic memoir Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe in the full swing of Pride Month, when the hot June sun was bouncing off the colors of various rainbow flags flowing in the streets and shop corners. I knew that I wanted to honor this month of LGBTQ history, commemoration, and celebration by reading a novel that I heard presented a challenge to the established norms regarding gender identity and sexuality (it was, after all, a recipient of the Stonewall Book Award by the American Library association). That and knowing it had aggravated a very specific group of people only made me more eager to get my hands on Kobabe’s text. What I did not expect was to have been so thoroughly touched and immersed in a narrative that approaches its subject matter of non binary identity and asexuality with not only weight and intelligence but, more importantly, humor, warmth, and empathy. In spite of the moments of heightened anxiety or shame, Kobabe is able to highlight the absurdity and joy that comes from discovering one’s self, whether it be through romance or art. Kobabe’s personal experiences and insights highlight the difference that openness and compassion makes in an LGBTQ person’s life. E indicates through their own family and friends how significant the role of community is in minimizing the sense of confusion and fear an LGBTQ individual can face, ensuring that, no matter what, they are loved and supported. Furthermore, I was reassured by eir awareness of the fluidity of identity, of how one is not determined by a label once they apply it to themselves, something poignant for any queer person to hear if they believe themselves to be one thing only to find later that they are another identity, or do not need a label in the first place. As an author, Kobabe also highlights the role that art, whether it be music, literature, or dress-up, can play in aiding a queer person in their self-expression and sense of well-being, indicating the importance of representation in media. It deeply exasperates me that a memoir about acceptance and self-love should be the target of combative censorship, all because of a small sample of specific pages taken out of context and deemed as inappropriate and “pornographic.”

When, Where and Why Gender Queer Has Been Banned

The graphic novel was published by Lion Forge Comics, for a small initial print run of 5,000 copies, and is now republished under the Oni Press imprint. The book was targeted at older adolescents, 16 and above, and adults. On Barnes and Noble’s website, it is recommended for 15 years and up, and on Amazon it is listed for ages 18 and up. It was one of ten books in 2020 to be a recipient of an Alex Award from the American Library Association (ALA) for novels appealing to young adults ages 12-18 and was a finalist for the Stonewall Book Award for non-fiction. This led to the graphic novel catching the attention of and appearing more prominently in school libraries.

According to the American Library Association, the graphic novel was restricted, challenged, and banned in 2021 for LGBTQIA content and for being considered to contain sexually explicit imagery. It ranked no.1 in 2021 and 2022 as the most challenged book, as further highlighted by the free speech organization PEN. The New York Times reported that multiple school districts and libraries, including Texas, Iowa, Pennsylvania, and Alaska, removed the graphic novel from shelves, some without even receiving a formal complaint. Republican officials in Virginia, Texas, and South and North Carolina called for the book’s removal, even identifying it as “likely illegal” and “obscene, pornographic”. The American conservative organization Moms for Liberty – a non-profit group created in 2021 to enforce “parental rights” in schools, and that has been aiding to urge book banning efforts, particularly for books concerning LGBTQ rights, race and ethnicity, discrimination, and critical race theory – listed the book as sexually explicit.

In eir response to criticism of the book, Kobabe highlighted that in removing these kinds of books and challenging them publicly, “what you’re saying to any young person who identified with that narrative is, ‘We don’t want your story here’”. E further stated, in eir interview with NPR, that e finds the book ‘a lot less explicit than it could be or would have been if written by a different author […] it’s hard to fully explain, I think, how a gender identity can impact every facet of life as an adult without touching at least a little bit on sexuality. And so I wanted to not shy away from that.’”

Plot Synopsis / Summary

As an autobiography, the graphic novel illustrates Kobabe’s unease and dysphoria with conventional gender roles and sexuality and eir journey to self-identity and euphoria outside of the gender binary. Kobabe narrates the story of eir childhood, when they were raised as a girl, according to the gender they were assigned at birth. From the beginning though e questioned that identity. During a key moment, Kobabe swam without their shirt on in a river with the boys, on a field trip in the third grade. E was scolded by eir teacher for doing so. An important instance of euphoria occurred when a student in elementary school asked Kobabe “What even are you, a boy or a girl?” In this way, E resisted gender stereotypes, similar to eir own parents. Kobabe would find comfort through fiction and media, particularly the fantasy works Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter, as well as the music of David Bowie. E was also able to bond with friends over erotic gay fanfiction, attended the Queer Straight Alliance meetings on eir high school campus, and resonated with the gender subversion of Oscar Wilde and Johnny Weir. As Kobabe fantasized about having an ambiguously male twin, e began to present a more masculine appearance to the world, while learning that their younger sister Phoebe had noticed their gender fluidity at work long before e figured it out. Puberty was still a tumultuous and traumatic time, particularly when e received their first period. Kobabe would write eir diary at age 15: “I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want to be a boy either. I just want to be myself.” Kobabe then discusses eir adolescence and adulthood, where e developed attractions to both girls and boys, making em question whether e was bisexual. Coming out in high school as bisexual to eir parents and classmates was relatively simple, having grown up in the liberal San Francisco Bay Area. However, through various experiences with dating, and an aversion to sex, Kobabe is able to eventually recognize eir identity as non binary and asexual. E began coming out to family and friends in 2016, using the gender neutral Spivak pronouns e, eir, and em. It took em a while due to the lack of language and information readily available on the subject. The creation of the memoir was in part to illuminate what it felt like to be non binary and help eir community through their confusion. Toward the end of the novel, Kobabe integrates the work of Patricia Churchland, specifically eir book Touching a Nerve, as a way to provide objective science behind eir subjective recollections.

Selected Excerpts that Epitomize Why Gender Queer is a Valuable Contribution to Our Culture

Excerpt 1: Kobabe explains their feelings about eir gender identity and sexuality (pages 64-71)

One excerpt that gorgeously portrays the essence of the narrative is when Kobabe elaborates on what attributes make a person attractive to em. E highlights that there exists a third option beyond the gender binary of male and female. Eir employment of natural imagery in the form of trees and plants and warm colors, only helps to represent non binary identity as something organic and beautifully spiritual. Kobabe also represents the confusion that comes through being able to find a label that fits their identity.

Kobabe: (narrative text) The main trait I’ve always been attracted to is androgyny. Which made categorizing my sexuality difficult. Did the girl with a buzz cut catch my eye because she was a girl or because she was dressed as a boy? Was it his seemingly “feminine” or “masculine” qualities that drew me to the long-haired boy in choir?

My deepest emotional relationships have always been with women. Did that mean I was a lesbian? But my sexual fantasies involved two male partners. Was I a gay boy trapped in a girl’s body? The knowledge of a third option slept like a seed under the soil. This seed put out many leaves but I didn’t have the language to identify the plant.

(An image of a green plant flourishing, the leaves containing the words “‘I wish I had a gender neutral name’”, “‘I feel like something is wrong with me’”, “‘I wish I was a boy’”, ‘I hate my breasts’”, “‘I never want to have sex’”, “‘I never want to have kids’”, “‘I wish I had short hair’”)

Kobabe: In high school, I began to theorize that I had been born with two half souls – one female and one male. I invented and named a lost male twin who had always felt like he should be a girl. If I could just find him we would finally both feel like whole complete people […]

(In a spiral shell, Kobabe’s thoughts swirl in a loop)

Kobabe: If I was trans, wouldn’t I be saying, “I am a boy” not “I wish I was a boy”? Wouldn’t I be more SURE? And if I am trans… Am I a gay boy – Or a straight boy – Or a bisexual boy – Except I’m not sure if I even want to have sex… Does that mean I’m asexual? If I’m asexual does my gender even matter? So I can just be a girl – But I don’t FEEL like a girl – What am I? […]

Kobabe: Quote from an entry I wrote in 2004 when I was 15: I don’t want to be a girl. I don’t want to be a boy either. I just want to be myself.

Excerpt 2: Kobabe’s mother’s response to eir coming out as gender-queer (pages 147-150)

This excerpt encapsulates one of the most important things to take from Kobabe’s autobiographical narrative. In this instance, eir mother is accepting of eir identity, even if she does not fully understand everything. Her response of unconditional love and openness to hear em out is one that every queer kid dreams of from their own family. It shows the significance of community in supporting LGBTQ children through their development.

(Kobabe and eir mother are walking down a path near a field)

Kobabe: (narrative text) I decided to talk to my mom about it. (to mother) I know I told you ages ago that I am bi, but I think now that I’m probably genderqueer too?

Mom: What do you mean?

Kobabe: Well – I’m still sorting out what it means and how to explain it. But – like I’ve never felt female, or identified with being female. Specifically things like having breasts or having a period…

Mom: No one likes having their period.

Kobabe: I mean – I know – But I feel it goes deeper than that for me? My whole life I’ve wished for a magical way to switch between genders.

Mom: So that you could be male sometimes?

Kobabe: Sort of, but not exactly. It’s more about NOT being female than BEING male.

Mom: You don’t have to be super-feminine to be a woman – I’m not.

Kobabe: I know. But like… you don’t hate having a vagina, do you?

Mom: No, of course not. I hope you don’t hate your body.

Kobabe: No, I don’t hate my body. I don’t have chronic pain or any of the other health issues so many of my friends deal with. The majority of my body is great. There are just… a few bits I don’t like. For example, if I could just remove my entire reproductive system, that would be ideal.

Mom: But what about having kids?

Kobabe: (exasperated) Uhhg, I’ve told you A HUNDRED TIMES, I am NEVER having children!

Mom: (assuring) I wish you wouldn’t say that. You’d be such a good mom.

Kobabe: No I wouldn’t! I’d be constantly resenting the kid for taking up all of my time! I’m WAY too selfish for parenting! Plus, the thought of growing a parasite being inside my own body makes me want to vomit.

Mom: PARASITE?! (laughs hard) Hahaha – What? Haha

(About 24 hours later)

Mom: I want you to know I never thought of you as a parasite while I was pregnant.

Kobabe: Oh – Uh, good!

Excerpt 3: Kobabe learns about e, em, eir, pronouns that fit their identity (pages 188-191)

This excerpt, occurring when Kobabe reconnects with Jaina Bee, a non binary writer and zine maker, highlights the beauty of gender euphoria and recognition that comes through finding the right pronouns for one’s identity. The focus on the Spivak pronouns e, em, eir, can also act as an educational moment for readers, who may not be familiar with them, and now can apply this knowledge in the real world.

Kobabe: What have you been up to for the past decade?

Jaina: I’ve been ordained as a pagan priest! And I identify as nonbinary now.

Kobabe: Wow, me too! Tell me more!

Jaina: For me, female presentation has always been a performance. A fun performance, with sequins, glitter, and wild hair. But for a lot of my life, I’ve felt like a drag queen in a female body.

Kobabe: That makes perfect sense! I’ve been thinking about switching to they/them pronouns but for some reason that doesn’t feel quite right. What pronouns do you use?

Jaina: I use the Spivak pronouns e, em, eir, as in “Ask em what e wants in eir tea.”

Kobabe: (starry-eyed) E, em, eir? I LOVE those pronouns! I just got the biggest tingle down my spine.

Jaina: That was my reaction too!

Kobabe: Asking people to start using new pronouns for me seems like such a huge request though. … I know people will mess up, and then what do I do? If I correct someone, will they get mad? I’d love to use these pronouns but I don’t want to inconvenience people…

Jaina: So instead of asking people to do something to make you feel more comfortable, you’d rather feel a little uncomfortable all the time? You’d rather internalize and carry that discomfort every time someone who loves you misgenders you?

Kobabe: Well, when you put it that way…

(A landscape of a mountain, a forest, a shoreline, against a calm blue sky. A plant grows amid the shrubbery)

Kobabe: (narrative text) As I pondered a pronoun change, I began to think of gender less as a scale and more as a landscape. Some people are born in the mountains, while others are born by the sea. Some people are happy to live in the place they were born, while others must make a journey to reach the climate in which they can grow and flourish. Between the ocean and the mountains is a wild forest. That is where I want to make my home.

Excerpt 4: Kobabe’s aunt Shari reacts to eir pronoun change (pages 192-8)

This excerpt, taking place in the winter of 2016, occurs when Kobabe talks with eir cousin Michael, and their lesbian feminist aunt Shari, about asking eir family to use different pronouns for them, over the course of a game of Settlers of Catan. In this moment, through the response of Shari, the reader can see how transphobia and bigotry do not simply emerge from a place of hate but rather one of ignorance, such as a more traditional understanding of feminism. She displays a misunderstanding that one does not need to fully comprehend one’s identity and pronoun choice in order to accept them. Shari’s questioning causes Kobabe to go into a self-reflective spiral.

Kobabe: What do you two think would happen if I asked the family to use different pronouns for me?

Shari: What pronouns would you want?

Kobabe: My favorite are e, em, eir; but I realize those sound like made up words…

Shari: Everyone in this family loves and supports you, so I’m sure they will give it their best effort.

Michael: But we will also mess up a lot. What’s more important: people changing the words they use for you, or changing how they think about you?

Kobabe: If people could just switch to thinking of me as gender nonbinary that would be amazing. But the only way I can think of to initiate a switch in thinking is to start with a switch of words.

Shari: If you ask me to start using new pronouns for you, of course I will. But I’d like you to explain why. Right now I don’t understand and I’m going to keep asking until I do.

Kobabe: What if I’m never able to explain, but I can tell you that it would make me happy. Would that be reason enough?

Shari: Your happiness is very important to me. But I have a hard time seeing this trend of FTM trans and genderqueer young people as something other than a kind of misogyny. A deeply internalized hatred of women.

(Kobabe’s face transforms into one of shock and alarm)

Kobabe: I don’t – I don’t know how to explain that’s not what it is. (narrative text) This conversation lasted until past 1am. When I was finally getting ready to go.

Shari: Are you sure you don’t want to stay here? I’d rather you didn’t drive so late.

Kobabe: I’ll be fine.

Shari: Well, I know you are a grown woman, but be careful. Er – I mean – you are a grown up person. Sorry!

Kobabe: Yes! Thank you! (narrative text) As I drove home…

(Kobabe drives home in eir car at night)

Kobabe: (thought bubble text) That went pretty well. But there were a lot of points I never finished making. Will I ever feel like I’ve completely explained myself? (narrative text) At home I tossed and turned over Shari’s misogyny comment.

(Kobabe lies in bed, bags under eir eyes)

Kobabe: (thought bubble text) What if she’s RIGHT? Our society’s treatment of women is SO TOXIC. Have I just been brainwashed into hating parts of myself? BUT NO, I know that isn’t true! I’ve spent my whole life not feeling male OR female. I’ve always wanted a third option. (narrative text) But why am I like this??? Sometimes I feel like my sexuality is broken and my gender is broken.

(A mass of tangled and squiggly lines)

Kobabe: (narrative text) I feel like there are all these wires in my brain which were supposed to connect BODY to GENDER IDENTITY and SEXUALITY. But they’ve all been twisted into a HUGE SNARLED MESS.

Book Structure/Details

The genre of the graphic novel is LGBTQ memoir non-fiction. Its targeted age group is older teenagers (16 and above) and adults. The total page count is 239 pages, without chapters, as the novel is composed of vignettes that depict Kobabe’s narrative rather than a cohesive story. Each page employs vivid, retro color in order to reflect both the euphoric and distressing episodes of Kobabe’s life growing up. E is not afraid to employ freeform and representational visual metaphor to convey the power of a moment. The cartoon drawings are rendered realistic through simple lines, with soft pastels, muted earthy tones and calming blues employed to create an ultimately assuring tone for the reader regarding the journey to self-identity.

Recommendations on Best-Match Audience for Gender Queer

This graphic novel provides a powerful and reassuring message for readers aged 15 or 16 and above, especially for trans and non binary youth who are still figuring themselves out and need the language that can help them attribute their gender identity and sexuality. Adult readers will equally discover this text to be gratifying if they too struggle with dysphoria, or even simply wish to understand the experiences of loved ones and those different from them. It is particularly welcoming to LGBTQ audiences, but does not alienate the straight reader, as both audiences ought to give this book the time and dedication it deserves in order to interrogate their own internalized biases regarding gender norms, bodies, and sexuality. There is a valuable insight into the role that family and community play in validating and supporting the LGBTQ individual in their coming out process and journey to self-identity. In this manner, without this graphic novel being readily available, LGBTQ youth will lose an important resource that can help them cope with their gender dysphoria and questioning of sexuality. And moreover, parents will have their traditional views regarding gender roles and identity unchallenged, reducing their openness and understanding toward the experiences of their LGBTQ children.

Content warnings are for dysphoria, transphobia, homophobia, biphobia, acephobia, misgendering, deadnaming, sexism, medical trauma, mild blood (menstrual), and some sexual content.

 

Gender Queer Study Guide: Recommended Discussion Topics & Questions

The graphic novel should be featured in discussions surrounding self-discovery and the search for self-identity, the struggle for external identity, gendered social structures and cues, and family and acceptance.

• - What is gender?

• - How would the book’s themes and overall tone change and be affected were the more sexually explicit scenes censored or omitted?

• - In what ways do media and art aid us in self-discovery, and why?

• - What is the effectiveness of using the comics medium for narrating a story of trans identity?

• - What makes the role of a supportive family or community so important in the lives of LGBTQ youth?

Sites to turn to include the Colorado Virtual Library, SuperSummary and Bookrags, which provide questions and a helpful review of the content and themes of the graphic novel.

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